


Normal

by its_magic13



Series: Ace Week 2020 [4]
Category: Bartimaeus - Jonathan Stroud
Genre: All Asexuals Are Valid, Aromantic Asexual Ptolemy, Bartimaeus is not good with feelings, Gen, I love Bartimaeus and Ptolemy’s friendship, Post-Ptolemy’s trip to The Other Place, Ptolemy wants to be somewhat normal, Some angst, We love aro aces strong platonic relationships, Working through romantic feelings, Yes I am projecting onto an ancient Egyptian magician deal with it, ish, it’s not happening, or lack thereof
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:34:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27251275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/its_magic13/pseuds/its_magic13
Summary: “I wanted to ask you if it was normal not to like anyone.”
Relationships: Bartimaeus & Ptolemy (Bartimaeus)
Series: Ace Week 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1982033
Kudos: 12





	Normal

“Rekhyt?” 

I stopped pacing. “What?” 

“Can I ask you something?” 

I licked a paw(1). “You just did.” 

_(1) I was in lion form at the time._

Ptolemy rolled his eyes, but I did see him smile, just a little bit. “Very funny. I wanted to ask you-“ here he hesitated. 

“Go on,” I said. “Spit it out.” 

He twisted his hands and didn’t quite meet my eyes. “I wanted to ask you if it was normal not to like anyone.” 

I raised my eyebrows(2). “Sorry, I’m going to need a bit more context. I’m assuming you don’t mean you hate everyone?” 

_(2) Do cats have eyebrows? I don’t know. Work with me here._

Ptolemy half-laughed, but it was a rather forced sound, and his expression was still very serious. “No, I don’t. What I meant was... I’ve never been in love, Rekhyt.” 

“That’s more common than you think. You’re only fourteen. It’ll come. Probably. Have you considered you might be looking to fall in love with the wrong gender?” 

He frowned. “I don’t think that’s it; I have tried. But I’ve never had any sort of feelings for anyone, ever, that went beyond friendship.” 

I blinked. “That’s a bit less common, I’ll admit(3).” 

_(3) Unheard of, actually, especially for a magician. But I wasn’t going to tell him that._

He turned away and began fiddling with his stylus, drawing meaningless swirling lines on the papyrus. “The strongest feelings I’ve ever had were for you, and I’m obviously not in love with you, though I care about you a lot(4). I’ve met people I wanted to be friends with, but nothing more.” Ptolemy sighed and set down the stylus, and turned to properly look at me for the first time. His voice was softer than I had ever heard it, and he looked very unsure of himself, which was more than a little unsettling(5). “I guess I’m asking if you’ve ever heard of this, and if you know if there’s a way to fix it.” 

_(4) His feelings were in fact reciprocated, but I didn’t say anything. The conversation wasn’t about me. Although, even if it was, I probably wouldn’t have mentioned this._

_(5) Ptolemy was always very confident and incredibly self-possessed, and he remained almost eerily calm in just about any given situation. A notable exception was the time when we were running from assassins in a chase that ended up circling nearly all of Alexandria, but that was more down to the fact that he had dropped his stylus in all the confusion and thus had to wait until we were safely back at the palace to complete his notes more than anything else._

I really didn’t know what to say to that- any of that, so I answered with a question of my own. “Why are you telling me all this?” 

He pushed his newly gray hair out of his eyes. “Might as well embarrass myself admitting secrets, since I’m going to die soon anyway.” 

“No, you’re not.” 

Ptolemy laughed. “No, I think I’ve embarrassed myself quite a lot, actually.” 

“You know what I meant,” I said quietly. 

Ptolemy opened his mouth, shut it, opened it again, and finally just pressed his lips together into a flat line and stared at me grimly. After a further moment’s consideration, he spoke at last. “Rekhyt-“ 

“No.”

“But-“ 

“No. Not now.” 

He sighed but said nothing else. 

“Returning to the subject at hand,” I said tightly, “I’ve never really heard of anyone who felt the same way you do about romance.” 

“Oh,” he said hollowly. “Well, it doesn’t really matter.” 

“On the bright side,” I added quickly, “you don’t need to worry about some pretty girl you don’t even know distracting you from your studies.” 

“I guess.” He turned back to his desk. 

The lion stood, walked over, and nudged his hand. “What’s up?” 

Ptolemy absently ran his fingers through the lion’s mane. “Nothing. It really shouldn’t bother me. I’ll get over it.” 

“Falling in love is overrated anyway,” I said. 

“And you’d know, would you?” he said, sounding uncharacteristically sullen. I was suddenly forcefully reminded that despite his high intelligence level and overly formal vocabulary, Ptolemy was only fourteen. 

I shook my head side to side in a sort of so-so gesture. “I’ve heard a firsthand account from a djinni named Ianna who was in love with another djinni named Asmoral. Eventually, Asmoral was ordered to destroy her. He refused to act for several days. The subsequent matter explosion took out himself, his master, his master’s palace, an entire suburb of Baghdad, and nearly Ianna herself.” 

“That is certainly... an interesting cautionary tale. However, I doubt many love stories end in large and deadly explosions.” 

I shrugged as well as I could with lion shoulders. “Mm. You’d be surprised.” 

Ptolemy laughed, really laughed. “No doubt. Now, earlier today, you mentioned that cats are able to see onto the second plane, correct?” 

“Yes.” I began pacing the room again. “And you can’t deny that it’s sort of liberating, to know you’ll never do anything stupid just because you fancy someone.” 

He scratched his nose. “I guess that’s true. Now, about the cats...”

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: Cats do not have visible eyebrows, but they do have facial muscles that work a similar way and can give the effect of having raised eyebrows. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! Happy Asexual Awareness Week 2020!


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